What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
