is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
