I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
