i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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