you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
