Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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