its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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