I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize