i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
