An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
