i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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