I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am spending my child support on dildos
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize