My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize