if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize