her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
