who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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