i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
