sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
