i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
