I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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