bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
