I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
