weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
