i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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