It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
