I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
