Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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(213): View more from California

I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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(205): View more from Alabama

You fucked her?! HER?!

(1-205): View more from Alabama

She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision

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