I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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