Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's never too late to be topless.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
