Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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