Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
