I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
