Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
