It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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