I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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