Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
