I cockslap morals
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think your dad took our porno
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
