I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize