i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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