what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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