we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
