Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
