i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
