that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
