new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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