It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
