I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
