hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
