I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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