Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
