Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
