Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
