I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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