the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
