Dual....:-)
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
