he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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