i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
